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12:02 PM [24 Jan 2009 | Saturday]
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Darling I miss you ~ here is my heart ~
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Darling Robbie,
When youve found that right someone you just know,
Like I knew with you that there was a familiarity a peace I have never felt nor do I imagine I will ever feel again. We got love . You are my friend , I admire you , I adore you We are one. I feel lost and broken without you . I miss praying with you , laughing with you , talking with you watching documentaries together. I know that I failed you and in a way I had felt that you failed me as well but we knew this was going to happen Robbie remember we talked about how we would face tough times and if times are not tough being apart then I dunno what is . I made mistakes Robbie but I love you I meant it from everything I am everytime I ever said it and even now.My mistakes were not made with any intention to hurt you . All I have desired for in our relationship is to understand you , love you, build you up, grow with you. My heart and my intentions have always been pure and though I have hurt you I still love you
~ ♥ ~ There are things I need to do to grow to be the right person for you , and I understand that and there are things that you could work on too but the point is I love you and I want to because I dont want to be without you. I was a fool to act so immaturely I was a fool to say and do the things I did in emotion, but I was hurting , I am sorry that I hurt you too. When all is said and done though at the end of the day it is you in my heart you are it ,you are my forever.I have since then begged you to forgive me, and I will continue to do so. If you do I am not gonna lie there are times I am gonna hurt you , times you may hurt me and maybe even worse then this hurt and these times we are enduring now , I am aware of that I understand that and I accept that because I also know there will be amazing times , great wonderful times like the ones we have already experienced. I have so much to give , and I want it to be for you and only you. Please say you feel the same. Please say that you are not ready to write us off after our first big crisis. We knew we were heading towards this we knew that the enemy was gonna do all he could to keep us apart and we had indications ahead of time that we were slipping up, yet we were not strong enough to be proactive.I forgive you no matter what you choose but know that I choose you. I am soo sorry for hurting you , I was wrong to call it off and I am willing to do what it takes , whatever it takes for US. I know you and I believe in you I dont believe that the man I love could leave me after this . We are forever , we are for life this is the begining and already I would sacrafice the very most precious things in my life for you , you know this , you know me look beyond my failings look beyond and to the core of who I am and if you truly dont love that if you truly cannot love me and have no desire to reconcile I will respect that , but know that I believe that what we had was genuine and real and I love you.
I want to make this right .
yes yes yes yes yeeeeessssss.
mashed potatoes for life, your last first kiss
I am yours , I am the woman made to be your helper. I am the woman made to endure all with you ,stand by you faithfully good or bad.
~love you ~ always ~ your Bunny
~ if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing~
1 corinthians 13:2
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Mood:
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8:51 AM [21 Jan 2009 | Wednesday]
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Broken but healing
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Friends,
I have recently become single and for me this is a shocking time as I never would have imagined ending my relationship with my Fiance. After many circumstantial things I in emotion called off the engagement , though I begged for forgiveness the things that happened in the heat of the moment are beyond his relm of forgiveness at the time and reconciliation though I was hoping for healing and restoration now seems without hope. We all as people make mistakes we all are inperfect if we were not Christ would not have died on the cross. I personally believe that our own sins and the selfish decisions we made instead of allowing the Lord to guide and direct our relationship as we had originally agreed was the downfall, as God will not bless sin and consequences are to be had God is just , and he has warned us that what we sow we shall reap. I have learned a great deal about myself through this time and grown incredibly strong in my own walk through this relationship so it was all worth the enormous amount of pain I am feeling. I plan on taking this time in singleness to grow even more to allow God to work though and change my heart . I made mistakes , so did he but I forgive him for all that has happened and I will in time I am sure move beyond this valley. I have also learned how important it is to me that my partner be a man with strong conviction , leading skills and that he be a man of his word, that in any relationship in the future I need to be with someone who is patient and egar to learn about me and understands me and desires to edify me build me , cover me , be there to cover me and quick to forgive even if I am wrong that he teach me in love , lessons learned in love are better than those forced in anger.~ i am really looking forward to seeing what exactly it is God does have for me . I am also looking forward to seeing the man my ex fiance becomes should he seek God and find the right helper if I am not it . I have so much faith now as God has clearly faithfully answeered much of my prayers and I know that no matter what in the end we all being prepared to be a bride to christ spotless and new so no matter what my heart will be transformed and eternally i will be whole and free. tears and pain will be no more in heaven and all the suffering be ended, all the things endured and experienced good and bad will in the end work to the glory of God and I know these things because of the word of God and I believe the word of God to be true. Prayer and support is appreciated as I begin a new journey and die to myself daily , prayer for peace , for clearity , and better decernment in the future , and prayer that Gods will be done in my life no matter what that entails. Thank you for your prayers and your words of encouragement. God bless you all in your walks as well
~ Natasha-Leanne |
Mood:
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12:56 PM [23 Sep 2008 | Tuesday]
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short poem :)
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you
you take me as i am,
you see me and do not judge,
you respect the things i say and feel,
that is a love that is pure and real.
you hear my calls and come,
stand by my side be i right or wrong,
you know the workings of my heart,
that;s how i know we will never part,
you listen when i am down,
give me the faith and strength to make it through,
all the love and affirmation that i need and want ,
i have found it in you.
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Mood:
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