How do we make it thorough life? A question i struggle with everyday. I have a wife and 5 wonderful kids. I work 2 jobs to try to make ends meet and I fail at that miserably, compound that i do the same thing everyday get up around 3 am throw newspapers come home get a shower and dressed for work, get off around 4 30 pm go home eat supper watch a little tv or the kids play video games, clean the dishes from supper and go to bed around 9 pm. I would very much like to go out or go shopping with my wife but she goes shopping during the day or we have no money which is usually the case. I am a constant mix of emotions, i am sad and angry all at the same time. I hate to even get up in the morning. I want things to change but i am not sure if i am ready to be religious again. i have been on that ride so many times, that when i mention it to my wife she puts me down so much that i dont make the effort to follow thorough. i have lost communication with my wife. i cant say anything to her that means anything to her. i cant get any support emotionally from her. i have had physical problems for several weeks and she tells me it is only in my head, instead of being concerned. i am losing my mind i find myself depressed all the time, and looking for negative things to happen to me at any moment. i guess you could say that i am over dramatic and maybe i am to an extent but that is how i feel. the next question is why write this and post it here? well this is a good outlet to get my feelings somewhere because no one else will listen, and i am not sure i am looking for any help or sympthany. i am just using this as an outlet to express myself. i know someone else has bigger problems and their world is probably worse off than mine but this is my world and it seems like the end to me.

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