Okay, real quick-like I'm going to tell you and anyone who wants to know or might care how about something that has been eating away at my soul for some time. You see I have two friends, one I've known for awhile and didn't really like.. at all. But she grew on me. It happens. It also might have been that I'm her best friend, but she's not mine. Maybe it's a pity thing. I don't know. Well, it all started almost exactly one year ago. The other friend, yeah, I knew his little sister and loved her to death then met him and now he's my "best friend" but he hasn't exactly been acting that way. Because there was this uber awk stage where he was asking if I liked him and I told him the I had promised God that I wouldn't date until I felt like I was ready. Emotionally and not into all the sick nastiness of junior high, which, alas, I am in. I also have this thing about not being mean. ever. unless i REALLY need to be. but then it's just awful. nasty. ferocious. Like when you watch the gazelle being ripped apart by a starving cheetah. yeah I'm the cheetah. But usually, I'm the nice gazelle who nudges the slowest one along so it won't die, then i die. yup. that's the other me. the usual me. Well.

The first friend who I will call Linda liked the second friend.. Jorge. Now Linda is a little too outgoing sometimes and has this awful habit about making her sound better than others. Like, okay we were on a van and i said something kind of funny, i guess, and the whole van burst out laughing. Then.. Linda immediately said (she wasn't the center of attention for a few seconds..) "usually when kristen does something like that, which is all the time, I'm used to it i don't think it's that funny." Okay, this doesn't sound THAT bad.. but it gets really really annoying.
"My mom likes corn." -someone
"Oh. my sister likes corn." -Linda
yeah. it's like THAT. Linda also talks EXTREMELY quickly so I don't understand her. im a slowish person sometimes. a lot. most of the time. :) Then she also likes to quote everything, be correct, sing to herself at awkward times in not a funny way, and have a never-ending stream of stories which she must voice immediately and should you try to put your two cents in. WHAM! Yeah.. you're dead. "YOU INTERRUPTED MY STORY, KRISTEN!" Then she calls me these awful pet names like Duckie. Yes, Duckie. Like those crazy old ladies you see in nursing homes who like to run you over at speeds that old people should not go at. Then they try to show you a picture of every cat they've had, kitten picture, alive picture, and death picture. it's creepy. trust me. Well, automatically other people assume that she is MY best friend, which I laugh tremendously at. HAHAHAHAHA! see? haha.

Jorge. Jorge is this guy who was normal and a pretty cool guy at one time... until l RANDOMLY out of NOWHERE a girl decided she'd like him. He has this littles sister.. um.. Tabitha and Tabitha is a pretty schweet girl. she's awesome. and I met her at GA camp, then i met him and he said "Hey, your like my best friend. " And he would always tell me that best friends NEVER keep secrets. His best friend is named.. Um.. Leroy. Now, Leroy is cool at times and really sweet.. but never watch him eat. you lose your appetite. Sorry, Leroy if you ever read this. It's true. do NOT wipe the nastiness of your face with the BREAD you are about to CONSUME...... EW! *throws up* And Jorge he just decided all girls must have to like him. Or they just HAVE to be insane because. Look at him. I mean wow.. (that was sarcasm for all of you who missed that) So he told every girl he liked them, they returned the favor he decided "Hm.. today i will RIP APART THEIR SOULS!!!! RAAHH!!!!" well.. maybe not exactly like that... But probably pretty close.

Now Linda was sucked into the second round of this trappy scheme. She said "Hey, Jorge, yous be lookin pretty fiiiine over there by that wata fountain.. I thinks I like you." Well it was more like "Um.. Jorge... what would you say if I -er- liked you?" Okay, now it may sound like nervous, innocent sweetness, ohhoho! but you could not be more wrong. it was a bit yellish. These peeps go to my church. And they were about to embark upon a mission trip, upon which they were not supposed to "hook up". Well after Linda said this. Jorge, oh so awfully, replied that he too had a burning sensation in his left ventricle for her. So she was walking on clouds because OH JOYOUS ME! Jorge liked Linda back. And so Linda asked out Jorge, Mistake #2. Of course, being a good Christian kid and complying with the rules set for the trip, he said no. But of course, poor, poor clueless Linda asked yet again in the middle of the trip. And He once again complied with the rules, which I applaud him for. *applaud, applaud* This made Linda very angry, being a Diva, angry is like "Excuse me, ladies and gentleman, we have just lost the engines on our left side and our now going to be flying in circles for hours until the gas runs out and we crash and burn." And guess what? Everyone she knew was on the ride. Jorge on the other hand happened to be the person the plane crashed and burned onto. Lovely, isn't it?

So for the WHOLE PAST YEAR they have been saying "It was nothing, there is nothing to say about it. It's over, we don't care." and yet EVERY SINGLE TIME  I am with one of them, they bring the other up to say how much they just plain HATE them. Jorge has this thing about asking me if I was coming over to the Dark Side, it was funny for awhile, then it was just harsh and it makes me sick. She's not my best friend, dangit! but she's STILL A PERSON. "A person's a person, no matter how small" -Dr. Suess. Now, you could replace 'small' with just about any adjective in the book. And Jorge, at one point you may have been my best guy friend but guess what. You ain't anymore, you really make me SICK. And Linda, guard your freaking heart and stop talking about how much you hate Jorge, how you can't say his name, or be within a certain vicinity of his Jorge-ness.

You're both being stupid. Please stop. It makes me want to cry. It really and truly does. I can't take this fighting anymore. You said it was over, but it's still going? are you insane? SHUT UP! leave ME out of it. Why do you have to be like that? Why can't you just forget it? Please, please, please forget it. And leave me alone.

Please.

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