Thirty years ago I was walking out the door of my apartment where I lived with my second wife, when the question entered my mind... "What am I doing? There has to be more to life than just eating, sleeping and working. What is the purpose?" I became a seeker at that moment.
I knew Jesus from my childhood, when He had been my hero and idol, but now He was no more than a childhood myth or fairy tale. So I searched for the meaning to life in other ways.
I became a vegetarian, quit doing all drugs (including nicotine and alchohol), exercised and meditated on the purpose of this life for the next three years.
During one of my meditations I recieved a vision of pictures of Jesus, thousands of them in quick flashs, one after the other rapidily, some that I recognized and many that I had never seen, but still knew that they were Jesus.
Three nights later an angel appeared to me in the form of a warrior and stood beside my bed where I lay. He mentally asked me, "Are you ready to begin now?" And I replied mentally a simple, "Yes".
Now the question had changed from "What is the purpose of life" to, "Begin what?"
I searched in all the wrong places, as the song says, for the next twenty years. I searched for a personal power in the dark occults not knowing that the greatest power comes from God, all else is just an imatation. But then God had no meaning in my life at that time, even though He was moving me in the direction that He wanted me to go.
A couple of days after my warrior visitation I left my second wife, went back to my drug mistress Heroin and the needle that I loved so much. Since then I have been married and divorced four more times, making a total of six failed marriages. I always desired the all American dream, but never achieved it.
To be continued....
continuation... Tomorrow is Sunday, the 6th of July, and my last message to our church body here at Bibb City. We have lost our funding and have to give up our lease after a year. Most Christians will say to themselves that God has refused to bless our small church for some reason... read Job. We have grown from 2 members to 22 that were led into their salvation through Eagle Wings being obedient to the Spirit and four others have been rededicated within that year's time. Those are the fruits of our effort. I am leading the church body into a dying denominational church that is in need of members and turning them over to a new pastor fresh out of seminary school that has been assigned there by the association in hopes of building up the church members. This needs be so that I may be free to do as God leads me now. The following is the preparation notes for tomorrow's message to my family, that I have grown to love as my own.
Jeremiah 29:11-12
"... For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you..."
Psalm 138:8
"The Lord will fullfil his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever-- do not abandon the works of your hands."
a story... "And there came out of the sanctuaty a woman whose name was Almitra. And she was a seeress.
And he looked upon her with exceeding tenderness, for it was her who had first sought and believed in him when he had been but a day in their city.
And she hailed him, saying, 'Prophet of God, in search of the uttermost, long have you searched the distances for your ship.
And now your ship has come, and you must needs go.
Deep is your longing for the land of your memories and the dwelling place of your great desires; and our love would not bind you nor our needs hold you.
Yet this we ask ere you leave us, that you speak to us and give us of your truth.
And we will give it unto our children, and they unto their children, and it shall not perish.
In your aloneness you have watched with our days, and in your wakefulness you have listened to the weeping and the laughter in our sleep.
Now therefore, disclose us to ourselves, and tell us all that has been shown you of that which is between birth and death.'
And he answered,
'People of Orphalese, of what can I speak save of that which is even now moving within your souls?'"
Kahlill Gibran, "The Prophet"
People of Eagle Wings, what more can I say to you. I have taught you and led you the best that I could during the past year and I have stood here and rejoiced with God over the way that you absorbed knowledge and wisdom with a thirst unequaled by most Christians. Remember always that the things which I taught you have come from the same Spirit that lives within you each. Now it is time for you to graduate from this school and go to where that Spirit will teach each of you as you need it.
God has prepared a purpose for each of us to accomplish in this lifetime. It is up to each of us to seek and find that purpose through communicating with God continually. When we do find that purpose it is not usually something that we would desire, but rather 'the cross that we have to bear.'
My ship, or time, has come and now it is the time for me to depart and go where God wants me. My desire is to remain in the place of my memories and bask in your love, but what good would I be to God while doing that. You each showed your love for me when I told you that I quit being your pastor and assigned you to Rod. Remember always, do not place your faith in any man, keep your eyes on Jesus and the Spirit forever and trust in them only because man is fallible.
Our lease will be up on this building the end of this month and we have talked about what we are going to do after that. We talked about meeting in our homes as the first century church did, or a park, or the riverfront, etc. and all of these are fine, but each of you has the need to grow more in the Lord and I don't think that I am capable.
My plans are to join up with the church that we visited last week. I like the Pastor and his wife and I believe that God will use us to help this new pastor repair his church family and have it grow even more than we could ever imagine if you all will be dedicated for at least a year to this purpose. I have several reasons for wishing to join with them and one of them is that they have rejected us and people of our social standing for all of these years and now they are getting old and their members are dying out slowly. This is a part of God's Kingdom here on earth and as being His warriors we can not sit by and allow the enemy to destroy it. So we stand as one and in one accord and join them in saving this small piece of Kingdom.
I have a friend that has just started a new Friday night service for the youth. I went to it last night for the second week and it was awesome. The disappointing thing is that the only people that showed up were the members of the praise team, myself, and a friend. I've tried everything to get the kids from my church to come, but they all have excuses when it comes time to go. Keep praying!
The praise team consist of a drummer, piano, lead guitar, bass guitar and three female singers. They have the voices of angels and love to praise the Lord. After the first song you could feel the presence of God so heavy it almost pushed me to the floor on my knees and the lead singer wouldn't quit singing the verse over and over until all eyes were moist and we were praising God full force. I pray that all Christians may have that feeling in Truth someday and see what they missed here on earth. If I could get my kids from church to go and experience it just once I know that they would want more and bring a revival to our church. Keep Praying!
My message for today is the two seats that we as Christians sit upon. One is the seat of Judgement and the other is the seat of forgiveness. Which one do we spend the most time sitting in? The comfortable plush cushiony chair of judgement where all we have to do is look at others and see their faults in order to make ourselves look right, or do we sit in the cold metal folding chair of forgiveness being uncomfortable as we struggle to forgive those who we feel have done us wrong?
I believe that we all, including myself, have the tendency to sit in the large comfortable chair judgeing others, when we really need to be sitting in forgiveness and going through the struggles. We as Christians have a reputation for leaving our wounded behind to die on their own. "That person over there quit coming to our church because we found out that he was still smoking and drinking. Thank God that he took him out of our midst before he gave us a bad reputation." Wouldn't it be better if we went to them and said something like, "Hey Joe, I can't help but notice that you are still smoking from the smell on your clothes and I could have sworn that I smelled drink on your breath the other day. Can I help you besides praying for you which by the way, I'm already doing. Can I pray for you now?"
And the seat of forgiveness? We keep ourselves in bondage by our unforgiveness, that person that we just can't forgive, they could care less wether you forgive them or not. Unforgiveness only effects us and in a negative way. If our heavenly Father is so generous with his forgiveness, how can we expect Him to forgive us when we refuse to do the same to others?
Peace, happiness, joy and contentment to all,
Sam Johnson
1 Samuel 10:5 "After that you shall come to the hill of God where the Philistine garrison is. And it will happen, when you have come there to the city, that you will meet a group of prophets coming down from the high place with a stringed instrument, a tambourine, a flute, and a harp before them; and they will be prophesying.
6 "Then the Spirit of the LORD will come upon you, and you will prophesy with them and be turned into another man.
To go into a trance that will bring you knowledge and vision of things you've never known or seen before, you need to drum, and you will need musical accompaniment.
1 Samuel 10:11 And it happened, when all who knew him formerly saw that he indeed prophesied among the prophets, that the people said to one another, "What is this that has come upon the son of Kish? Is Saul also among the prophets?"
12 Then a man from there answered and said, "But who is their father?" Therefore it became a proverb: "Is Saul also among the prophets?"
